1st First Date

I have decided on one spot to bring my first dates. It is a bar that is owned by a friend - it is my "safe place." (Can't be too careful these days.) It's a very nice establishment that has live music almost every night. It's not rowdy or crowded. There are always very nice people there. No TVs or games - just good beer, good food, and good music.

I went out and bought a "First Date Outfit." I'll probably wear it on all my first dates. (Why not?) A nice black skirt, a black satin tank with a red floral print, and a black cardigan (which I can lose in warmer weather). Hopefully this will bring me good luck.

So last night was my 1st First Date. The guy (we'll call him "W") is someone I met on the dating website I signed up for. He's my age, also never been married or have any kids. What first really attracted me to him was his communication skills. If you've never used a dating website before, it works like this:

A) You create a profile
B) You browse profiles of people you might be interested in
C) You contact someone you might be interested in (or they contact you)
D) You COMMUNICATE

The biggest problem I have on the site is communication. I'll usually try to write a nice introductory letter. I'll use the guy's profile to find things we have in common and point them out. I may comment on something(s) on their profile that interest me. From there it should be a back and forth. Each person should be asking questions of the other, and using more than one word to answer questions asked of them. The problem is that so many of the men I was back and forth with would send me a message consisting of only 1-3 sentences. For instance, I might ask, "What do you do for a living?" The answer I would get back might be, "I'm a mechanic." That's it. That was the whole message. No "And what do you do?" or "I've been tinkering with cars since I was a kid. My dad and I rebuilt a Model T and I love what I do." or any details whatsoever. So one rule I've adopted now is that I will not carry the entire conversation. If someone messages me with a short little answer to a question or two that I've asked and stops with that, I stop with the conversation altogether.

"W" has great communication skills. We started trading messages, and by the end of the day were up to 5-6 paragraphs per message. I was impressed! That adeptness of writing skills led to the first phone call. And again, he impressed me. He's smart! He used the word "homogenized" in a sentence (and he wasn't talking about milk). I have to admit, I'm not so great on the phone. Probably because I have to be on the phone all day at my job. But we had a decent first conversation. So naturally we decided to meet.

I got to the bar early intending to tell the owner (my friend) what the deal was (again - you can't be too safe these days). But "W" showed up before I got a chance to say anything. He'd left himself some extra time to find the place and found it more easily than he'd expected.

Good news! He's cuter in person than in his profile pics!  Hooray! (Not that that's terribly important. ha ha ha)

Having got there first, I'd already purchased myself my first beer. So he sat down at the bar and purchased his own beer. We didn't actually converse with each other at first because we were too busy with the very chatty bartender (sweet girl but she hadn't yet figured out that this was our first date). Eventually, more people arrived and we were left to our own devices.

Conversation came in spurts, but the alcohol helped. There were a few awkward silences, but aren't there always?

"W" finished his beer first and ordered another. I had about 3 sips of my beer left. HE DIDN'T OFFER TO BUY ME A BEER!!! First rule of dating guys - make sure the girl is taken care of! That did not pass unnoticed by me. But I'm a nice person and I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. So I figured, "he's nervous. He forgot." I bought myself my own second beer. Chatty bartender noticed this and called him out on it. Probably embarrassed the hell out of him. He did end up buying my third beer, and some food too.

So here's something strange. When "W" arrived, he was wearing a leather motorcycle jacket. I'd come in with one too, but it was off and at my feet. His jacket was zipped up to the neck and that's how it stayed the whole night. Yes, it is wintertime, but it's been a fairly mild one in my area, and we were indoors! It wasn't cold inside the bar. What was he hiding???

A fantastic band started playing about an hour/hour-and-a-half into our date. The lead singer was obviously very heavily influenced by Janice Joplin. I loved her! I'm not so sure "W" was into it (his favorite band is Iron Maiden).

Finally sometime between 11 and 11:30 I told him I was tired and we decided to leave. He did walk me to my car (which was parked in the opposite direction from the bar as his). So he gets points for that. But I was parallel parked and as I went around to the driver side, he stayed on the sidewalk. No hug or handshake. I think he was super nervous. I thanked him for coming out and told him if he called me for a second date, I'd come down to his area.

Would I go out with him again? Yes, I think I would. I'll have to assume he was nervous and a second date might go better. But if we do go out again and the second date is the same as the first, I'll have to bid him adieu.

I made it through my 1st First Date! I'm looking forward to the next one!

Introduction

Welcome!

I am a single woman in my late 30s who has never been married, never had children, and have yet to find "the one" man I'm willing to spend the rest of my life with. I recently had my heart broken by a man who I thought might have been "the one," but we came to a bad end as he turned out to be controlling, manipulative, and emotionally abusive. (Would you be surprised to learn he works in law enforcement?)

I'm not a huge believer in "you need time to get over him." I'd rather get up, dust myself off, and get on with my life. So I decided that I need to get out there and get dating asap! I don't live in an area that's very conducive to meeting people, so I have spread the word among my friends that I'm available for set ups, and put myself on a dating website (only one to start).

You know those scenes in Lifetime movies where they have the "montage" of the girl going on many first dates? Well I thought maybe I could recreate that in blog form. I've decided to blog about my dating adventures. Probably it won't be nearly as interesting as an LMN movie, but you never know what gems you may discover. It could be fun! So I hope you enjoy reading and following my blog. And let me know some of your own first date stories!